Thursday, December 20, 2007

If you can't love yourself, how can you truly love anybody else?

This is our first guest post (beware, it's not G-Rated) by Jamye Waxman, author of Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation (a great holiday gift for any woman).

If you can't love yourself, how can you truly love anybody else?
Okay. Fine. You might not be thinking so much about this question right now. Especially as Christmas turns to New Years turns to the oft-dreaded Valentine's Day (which, by the way, is hallmark's excuse for us to purchase cards and other useless trinkets to "show" our love to others), but it is a question you should seriously ponder---at least for two minutes. Why? Because you should know how to love yourself in order to really like, or love, anybody else. And the truth is that the real way to show love is to actually do love. Doing love isn't always about expensive gifts; it's also about touching, cuddling, kissing, and communicating. It's about showing love to one other. A love that comes from deep within our guts and not from other outside sources. And the first person you should do love to is---drum roll please---you! Seriously, if you don't know yourself best, pamper yourself most and love yourself longest, then how can you ever do it for someone else? Someone who's not you!

This is why the motto for the New Year should be YOU FIRST (or, say it with me: ME FIRST). That means we put ourselves before anybody else. Before our boyfriends or girlfriends or friends with privileges. We need to remember that we are the most important people in our own lives. Without us, we wouldn't be who we are today or who we hope to be tomorrow! So, if all of us told one another "you first" (at least when it comes to sex) then maybe, just maybe, we'd learn how to best take care of our needs, which in turn means we'd be able to love other people even more than we love them now . . . even if we think we give them the best! love! ever! at this very moment.

Of course, when it comes to love, there's nothing better to start with than self-love. (You knew I was going here, didn't you?) Yes, rubbing one out, double clicking the mouse, petting the pussy---whatever you call it, 2008 is the year to remember that you are the person who loves you most.

So how can you love you longtime? Let's count the ways---or at least some of the ways!

1. With your fingers. Rub them all over your body, touching places that you might not always touch. Think breasts, belly, inner thighs, feet---wherever you need it, give yourself a great rub down. Then use those fingers on your clit and inside yourself too!

2. With some toys! Not just any toys, cause Barbie and Lego won't do the trick. Use sex toys. Take a vibrator and buzz around your clit, or place it inside your vagina. Use a dildo to fill yourself up. Take a butt plug to your behind and feel overstuffed (but not in that heavy, holiday-eating-too-much sort of way).

3. Rub against a piece of furniture. Like the corner of your couch. Or rub against the seat of your car as you're driving---just remember to watch the road.

4. Take full advantage of your next shower. Let the shower nozzle spray all over your body and then direct it to the places that get you off. Afterwards relax in a warm bubble bath.

5. Mark the spots. First hit the clit, then the G-spot, and then the AFE Zone. These are all places that can feel good for women. Mentally check each one off after you're sure you've hit the spot.

For more about masturbation pick up a copy of Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation! You'll get more than just pointers about how to get off. There's history, current events, and lots of highlights from women I interviewed.

Yes, I'm a true promosexual at heart.

Happy holidays!


Learn more about Jamye Waxman here!

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