Thursday, November 29, 2007

DESIRE

It's that time of year. People are making lists of the things they want. Kids do this, of course, but I know a few grown-ups who have lists going. One woman I know has a list she's been working on for years, and when an unsuspecting person asks her what she wants for Christmas (or her birthday), she says, "I'll have to check the list."

I should declare right here before anyone I know comments and outs me, although I am not the woman referenced above, (I swear) I can name for you at any given time, the things I want. Like right now, as I write this, the mental list is coming into view: La Creuset casserole dish, a cute black menswear vest, really thick, creamy good-smelling lotion, new glasses, a new rug for the bathroom, new towels . . . OK, you get the idea. I could go on and on. It's a sickness. I want. But the thing is--and I really get this in a way I'm not sure I have before--these are all just things. They don't matter. As Andie here in the office said recently, "It's all just stuff." The truth is, there's excitement when it's new, in the very beginning of your relationship to the thing, but then it cracks or turns gray or the cat pees on it or it's too tight or . . . . Things will always be unsatisfying.

Desire: Women Write About Wanting

Desire edited by Lisa Solod Warren goes deeper than describing a want for things. These women's stories of wanting are about deeper, more real, and darker desires. If I stop thinking about the comfort in things, the conveniences, the illogical want for a more cushiony bathroom rug, I wonder, do I really need this? No.

What, then, do I need? What do I desire? What makes my heart smile? What makes me feel full? (And I'm not talking about food, although I do often desire that too. Zachary's pizza. Oooooooh.)

What about you? What do you desire?

Until next time,
K.

2 comments:

Andie East said...

I desire to be in control. That's my deep desire. Not like in control of everything, just in control slightly of what is going to happen next. Or at least to know, so I can put on my safety vest, get my box of kleenex, buy my suit ahead of time. I like to be prepared but you can't be prepared for the unexpected.

PastaQueen said...

When I want something, I usually prefer to get it myself. I used to always make Christmas lists, but this year I'm not because I want to see what people will get me when they have to think of it themselves. Sometimes the best gifts are ones that you didn't know you wanted, things that show a person knows you so well that they know what you want even if you didn't.