You Know You're in a Midlife Crisis When...You Can Win a Midlife Crisis Contest!

A few weeks ago, we asked women to share the signs of an imminent midlife crisis, using Amy Ferris's Seven Signs of a Midlife Crisis for inspiration. The responses were wonderful, funny, and oh, so true. We especially loved the seven winning submissions below. These witty women each received a copy of Marrying George Clooney, as well as a big thank-you from us, whose middle-of-the-night musings have just become a little more bearable. So, without further ado:

You know you're in a midlife crisis when...

...Your hair is short, your whiskers are long, and you no longer care!
—Mary Frances Frawley

...You realize you have to find a new dream for the next half of your life and don’t have the vaguest idea where to start.
—Susan Ann Weinman

...You run into old your friends at a picnic and the children they are escorting are all their grandkids!
—Pegi McKee

...You realize you’re older than the president for the first time in your life!
—Jacqueline Korteland Boller

...That list of things you always wanted to do (become a veterinarian, do an undercover FBI stake-out, dye your hair pink, move to Tahiti and live on the beach for a year, have seven children and run an organic farm...) becomes the list of things you now realize you’ll never do.
—Renee Cramer

...You actually contemplate putting on the lycra jumpsuit you wore rollerskating at the Roxy in the 80’s...and notice it really is not a good look, and probably never was!
—Andrea Eisen

...Your mind, instead of your man, wakes you up at 4 A.M. !
—Mary Kruger

For more Marrying George Clooney, check out this clip of author Amy Ferris's good friend, Bruce, reading a chapter from the book.