i care not

Warning: This is a bad mood post.

I thought about the danger of posting something about submissions---just in case a would-be author or a preferred agent were to stop by and recognize their recent project being bashed in the archives of our blog. But then I figured, A good dose of honesty never killed anyone, and maybe this blog could and should be a destination spot---hell, a hot spot---for those who wish to publish on Seal, or sell us projects.

So here's a submission category I would like to never ever see again: the How To Land A Man proposal, in any one of its various and unglorious manifestations. This submission is one in which the would-be author proposes to write a book that deals with said topic in any number of ways. I've seen a lot of these in my time at Seal because apparently our being a women's press equals---in many writers' minds---publishing projects that help women Land A Man.

And I've been patient and generous and even nice in my responses to people who have sent me projects about how wearing certain clothes or shoes might be sending the wrong message to men; about how women who are overachievers and totally kick ass can learn how to appropriately handle dinner dates so as not to scare or offend "Mr. Right"---since Mr. Right's ego would be bruised if he couldn't be the breadwinner. And then there was the one for women travelers and what to pack to snag Mr. European Right. Or a project idea about how to attract the right man to you by creating your personal space in such a way that you make him feel comfortable. A guy can have a bachelor pad, dishes piled in the sink, carpet that hasn't seen a vacuum since the previous renters, unmade bed. But the unspoken truth is that his looks and salary outweigh all that. You, women, should create a living space that shows openness and good taste and culture, because when you bring Mr. Right home those are things he's sure to notice when he's wandering around the apartment the next morning looking for his boxers. Yeah, this place is cozy, dude. It makes me want to come back here and get married and settle down and have kids.

People. No---Women. Get a grip. Please. First, if you're reading this and you've ever bought a book like this, why? If you're reading this and you want to buy a book like this, get help. If you're reading this and you want to write a book like this, go take a cold shower and sleep it off. And know that we will do our humble duty to never ever provide you with this least-favorite genre of mine.

To better days and better submissions.


---Brooke